im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize