he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
