at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize