it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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