did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
