i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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