no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
