I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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