And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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