my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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