I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
