The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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