Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
