I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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