Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
