is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
