Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
