if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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