I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
