Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
