no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
