I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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