he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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