Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
