I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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