Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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