I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I accidentally had phone sex last night
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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