My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize