so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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