Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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