Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize