he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
