come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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