the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
