hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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