so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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