I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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