Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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