his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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