ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
