i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize