You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.