problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.