Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
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I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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