Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
