Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
