so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
