Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
