Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
