Im at strip club and am horny
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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