I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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