We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.