Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth