What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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