New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
