Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
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you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
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I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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