It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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