Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
