I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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