I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Of course I have a pirate flag
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
