That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize