You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He did a backflip because drugs
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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